Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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