Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize