i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
