She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
