every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
