She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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