This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
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No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
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You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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