So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize