He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
