Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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