eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
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The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
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The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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