Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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