and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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