I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
two words...techno handjob
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
