i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
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This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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