youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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