My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize