when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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