Nicole vs. Life
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize