Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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