She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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