Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize