Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
