True but thats because hes a fetus.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
