Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
