the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
