is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
