i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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