sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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