I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
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i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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