Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize