Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sober January is a disaster.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
