And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
