Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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