Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
