love makes seman taste better
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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