I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
