apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
