Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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