yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
