I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
