the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
