I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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