Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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