Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
