dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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