I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
