the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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