He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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