I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
