the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
