y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
