Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
