the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
