I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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