is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
