We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
