There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
