Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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