Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
