woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
