i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
