I just pynch a tree in the face
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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