its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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