honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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