my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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